How to Do Secret Santa With Family Who Live Far Apart
Practical ways to run a Secret Santa across cities or countries — drawing names remotely, posting deadlines, gifts that travel well, and opening everything together on a video call.
When family is spread across cities or countries, buying a gift for everyone gets expensive fast — and posting all of them is worse.
A Secret Santa solves both: one gift each, chosen with care. It just needs a bit more planning than one where everyone is in the same living room.
Draw names without being in the same room
Pulling names from a hat doesn't work over a group chat. And if one person draws on everyone's behalf, they end up knowing every match.
Use a method that lets each person find out their own match from wherever they are, without anyone seeing the full list.
Set the exchange date, then work backwards
Pick the day you will open gifts first. Then set a "post by" date well ahead of it.
December is the busiest time of year for postal services, and international parcels can take much longer than usual. Check your postal service's seasonal deadlines and give yourselves extra room. Everyone opening together only works if everything has arrived.
Agree on the budget — and the currency
If family lives in different countries, set the budget in one currency so there is no confusion.
Decide whether postage counts toward it. Posting a parcel overseas can cost as much as the gift, so many groups leave postage out of the budget, or choose gifts that can be delivered locally.
Make wishlists more useful for distance
Long-distance wishlists benefit from a little extra detail:
- sizes and preferences, as usual
- shops or online stores that deliver to where they live
- things they can't easily get locally
- an up-to-date delivery address, confirmed privately
Choose gifts that travel well
Ordering from a shop that delivers in the recipient's city often beats posting across the world. Otherwise, lean toward gifts that are:
- light and hard to break
- not perishable
- digital — an e-book, a subscription, a class
- an experience they can enjoy where they live
Some items can't be sent internationally or are held up at customs, so check what your postal service allows before buying.
Open together on a video call
Pick a time that works across time zones — which may mean breakfast for some and dinner for others. Take turns opening one gift at a time so everyone gets their moment, then guess who your Santa was.
If someone can't make the call, ask them to share a photo or short video of their opening so they are still part of it.
Where Secret Santa Party fits
Secret Santa Party is built for groups that aren't in the same room. Everyone joins your group with an invite code on their own phone — no accounts, no passing one phone around.
Each person privately sees who they are buying for, along with the budget and that person's wishlist ideas, wherever in the world they happen to be.
FAQ
How do you do Secret Santa remotely?
Use a draw method that lets each person see their own match from their own device, agree a budget and exchange date, set a post-by date, and open gifts together on a video call.
When should long-distance Secret Santa gifts be posted?
As early as you reasonably can. Check your postal service's seasonal deadlines, allow extra time for international parcels, and set a group post-by date well before the exchange.
Should postage count towards the Secret Santa budget?
It is up to the group, but agree before the draw. Because international postage can be expensive, many groups leave it out of the budget or favour gifts that can be delivered locally.
What are good Secret Santa gifts to send long distance?
Light, unbreakable and non-perishable items, digital gifts such as e-books or subscriptions, experiences in the recipient's city, or anything ordered from a shop that delivers locally to them.
Browse the full Risa Apps guides index for more on running a gift exchange with Secret Santa Party.