Going Back to Work After Parental Leave: Looking After Yourself Through the Change

Going back to work after parental leave is a big transition, even when part of you is looking forward to it.

You might feel excited to use your brain in a different way, guilty about leaving your baby, and unsure whether you are still good at your job — sometimes all before nine in the morning.

Mixed feelings are normal. This guide focuses on practical steps that make the return a little gentler.

Expect to feel more than one thing

Relief and sadness can sit side by side. You can miss your baby and still enjoy drinking a coffee while it is hot. One feeling doesn't cancel the other.

Give yourself permission to feel both without deciding which one is the "right" one.

Talk to your workplace before day one

A conversation with your manager before you start can remove a lot of uncertainty. Useful topics:

• what has changed in the team and projects while you were away
• what your first few weeks will focus on
• your hours, and any flexibility you need
• practical needs, such as a private space and breaks if you are expressing milk

What you are entitled to varies a lot between countries and employers, so check your contract and the official guidance where you live.

Do a practice run

If you can, rehearse a workday morning before you actually start: getting everyone ready, childcare drop-off, the commute. It is better to discover that the car seat takes ten minutes to fit on a morning when nothing depends on it.

If childcare is new, a few settling-in sessions before your first day can make the change easier for both of you.

Plan a soft first week

If it is an option, start mid-week or with shorter days, and avoid big deadlines in your first week.

You aren't only catching up on work. You are learning a new family routine at the same time.

Simplify home life for a while

Decide in advance what you will let go of temporarily: simpler dinners, fewer weekend plans, accepting help from family or friends if it is on offer.

If you have a partner, agree who handles what before it comes up — especially daycare calls, sick days and night wakings. Those are much harder to negotiate at 7am on a Monday.

Rebuild confidence gradually

It is common to feel rusty at first. Give it time. Small wins in the first weeks — finishing a task, contributing in a meeting, remembering where everything lives — add up faster than you expect.

Your skills didn't disappear while you were away. Plenty of parents find they come back with sharper priorities and far less patience for meetings that could have been a message.

Check in with yourself regularly

The first months back are a period of real change. Keep an eye on the basics: sleep, mood, stress.

A short daily check-in makes it easier to notice if things are gradually trending down, instead of realising weeks later.

Feeling low or anxious after having a baby is something many parents experience, and it doesn't always appear in the first weeks. If you are struggling, talk to your doctor or another health professional — you don't need to wait until it feels serious.

When to talk to someone

Small habits help with everyday stress. They are not a substitute for support when things feel heavier than that. If you have felt low or anxious most days for a while, are struggling to sleep or cope, or no longer enjoy things you used to, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. If you are ever in crisis, contact your local emergency number or a crisis line in your country.